In searching for Hope

9 dec
Sinan Džaferović Vaajpa

It's cold. It's really cold. I'm freezing, but I must keep going and I must
stay awake. If I fall asleep, I will never wake up again. In the middle of
this desert, looking for Hope, but there isn't any trace of her. Some
strager told me that he saw her entering this endless desert.
Where did she go? And why she ran away in the first place? Clearly
someone chased her, otherwise I know that she would not run away for
no particular reason. Strong winds are blowing and every time they
blow, they shake me up from falling asleep. Every blow feels like a
razor on this uncovered skin. The Day has begun, I have made it through
the first night and still there is no any sight of her. My uncovered skin is
slowly turning into a frostbite and I cannot feel that region of my face.
Every breath I breathe out is creating a cloud that go into another
dimension and every time it dissapears, my body starts shaking like a
chassies of 1,000 HP car. My backpack is on my back and it's stiff. All the
ice made it heavier and solid. Zippers aren't swinging anymore, I cannot
hear them. If I touch any metal, my skin will be glued to it. My cane is
the only thing that I'm holding, and the laces on my shoes aren't
swinging anymore. In searching for Hope, I think that this journey may
come to an end. I'm tired, I'm cold and I don't see anything or anyone on
the horizon. Maybe she isn't here, maybe she didn't cross this part of
cold desert and maybe she came back in town, hiding from someone. I
think that I am half way through, but I'm not sure. My knees feel weak
and I just want to lie down and sleep. It's so nice, warm and
comfortable. Every time when I think that I will fall asleep, winds are
becoming my alarm. There's no one in here, there is nothing in here and
I don't see anyone's footprints. Maybe those winds covered them with

thin layer of powder snow. As I turn around, the only footprints that are
left are mine. Those winds are making whooshie sound and they are creating
the fogwhich is a little bit above the ground. As I'm looking on my left side, I
can hear streaming water, but I see that most of that water is
completely frozen. The waterfall is standing still, creating giant icicles
that are certain death. In this water stream I can see few fishes
swimming around, but everything other is frozen. It's 9 AM and I'm
walking like a robot and my legs feel like two woods. The waves of
optimism and pessimism are changig every 10minutes and I feel I'm not
making any progress. Now I cannot feel my hands, theyre so numb and
frozen that they had become stiffen. My optimism is my Hope and I have
strong feeling that I will find her, sooner or later. The only friends that I
have are my two voices. One is telling me that I should sleep, at least 10
minutes to recharge my battery, but other is telling me to keep going. I
almost fell into a trap of resting, but there's no stopping. It's january, I'm
in this fucking desert where the heat is not the one who is here, but
Instead of that there is a sky blue horizon that is conquered by ice. I
have feeling that my boots became plastic and while I'm walking I could
hear how they break where they bend. As I'm thinking, I can see on the
horizon two buildings. Maybe I am hallucinating, but maybe I am not.
Anyway, I will keep walking towards them. While walking, I am turning
around, being aware of my surroundings. I have cane with sharp edge
with myself and if any predator attacks me, I will try to fight it. It's better
something, than nothing, but this time is something behind me, way
more terrifying than any predator in the world. A snowstorm is
incoming. It follows me, and I cannot escape from it. I can see the snow
dancing in that sharp, cold, killing wind. Will I make it to the buildings?
Or will stay still frozen like a monoument in town? I cannot see any
shelter near myself, so I guess this is it. I should have fallen asleep
while I had a chance to do so, but my inner will for Hope kept me going,
almost tirelessly. As I'm approaching the buildings, the snowstorm is
still behind me…way behind be, but it's getting bigger and bigger and I

don't know If I should stop and let it devour me. I can see the people and
I can see the end of this frozen desert which seemed endless.
I can see the Hope talking with some people. It's Hope, my Hope! I must
make it through the end, I'm almost there. I would shout her name from
all of my lungs, but I don't have any strength to do that. I'm almost there,
I'm close, just few more steps.

The old man turned around to check if the snowstorm went away, but
the last thing he saw is a giant storm which was spreading out all up to
the heavens. Snowstorm devoured him and he stayed completely frozen
like a monoument in the middle of a town. Later, the authorities found
him, but there was no life in him. Hope came back home where she
buried her father, but she didn't know that her father died because of
her. Parents will always go through the extremes to save their children,
no matter the concenquences.

—Svi stavovi i mišljenja izraženi u tekstu su isključivo autorova i ne odražavaju uredničku politiku platforme Hoć —


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