Why Is It Hard To Be an Extroverted Introvert?

24 nov
Hana Tiro

So, you’re in a room full of people, on a party most probably. Someone approaches you (or you approach someone for some reason). You don’t feel anxiety, you don’t feel shy, you can normally talk to that other person as if you’ve known them for years. That’s the extroverted part of you. After a couple of minutes of nice chit-chat, that person goes away. Minutes pass, you’re standing/sitting alone.  You have no urge to communicate with others. You take a sip of what you’re drinking, watch the crowd, listen to the music and eat food. No one approaches you and you’re glad. You kind of wish you’ve stayed home and watched movies. That’s the introverted part. The moment someone does approach you, you awoke your own little extrovert. Again, you communicate with no boundaries whatsoever.

It sounds great, doesn’t it?

Nope.

First of all, people don’t understand. You go out to parties, and you sing and dance and mingle with people and all of a sudden, in everybody’s eyes, you’re an extrovert. The moment you decline a couple of invitations to some concerts or parties, people start gossiping that you’re „getting weird“. They’re asking you if you’re feeling fine. They judge you for not going out when they thought you would. That’s the worst part. I mean, sometimes you enjoy reading (a bad) book more than going to (a bad) concert and that’s fine. And some of them will understand. But mostly they won’t.

How extroverts see you is really funny. Friday and Saturday nights are just not your things sometimes. You try your best not to set off negative vibes in those days, but it often seems as if you fail at it. For you, it’s just too crowded, too noisy and you pray to God some of the friends will get bored soon enough. But they don’t. And you can’t leave them all of a sudden. It’s hard to explain to the extroverts that you, who like concerts and being with a lot of friends, are feeling anxious.

How introverts see you is even funnier. You’re something like their PR manager. You completely understand their anxieties and how frightened they are when they need to communicate with the world. We all feel it sometimes. So, from time to time, you take it as your duty to communicate with the outer world when they don’t feel like it. Honestly, it’s really nice to have someone with whom you can grab a cup of coffee on Friday or Saturday afternoon knowing it doesn’t have to end up as a late-night circus in the town.

All in all, I’m just another brick in a wall. (Just kidding.) Now, I hope I made it a little bit more clear how extroverted introverts (at least my type) function. And please, never judge a person if they don’t feel like going out, don’t try to persuade them that it’s going to be fun, never say that they seem depressed (saying that won’t solve anything) and always respect their decision whether they’re introverts, extroverts or anything in between.

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